LAST UPDATED: July 16th 2000
PS: This journal was in April 2004 replaced by my blog homepage.
... my journal
| WARNING: YOU COULD FIND SOME PERSONAL DETAILS
ABOUT ANDREAS HERE, EXIT IF YOU'RE NOT PREPARED FOR IT! Any resemblance with
living creatures (including humans) in this text may be accidental and
unintentional! |
Friday, December 15th, 1995
Day started with some work at home, my new baby (a Pentium computer)
had to help me with a problem at work. Sat here until lunch. The
problem was finally solved! Doing big edits in a 120 Mb file was
tougher than I thought. By Monday it will be installed and running at
work. I'm relived. :)
Miss the sound card on my old computer, have to buy one for this too. But
the speed makes up for the sound...... several times over!!!!!
Chatted with Halrog and ZiddiZ on IRC, had some beers, Føyn called about
CorelDraw, now I'm just relaxing. At last, it's weekend!
Got a parcel from my sister in Oslo (Nina), lots of small presents!!!!! :)
One for each day until Christmas. GREAT!!! Really made my day!
Especially some drawings from and pictures of her children (Karoline
and Joakim). I miss them...... Looking forward to meet them in the
Christmas holiday.
A nice letter from James Randi also arrived, with membership card for
The 2000 Club. I've made a pledge to pay 1000 USD to anyone who
establishes a genuine psychic power under proper observing conditions,
in accord with the rules outlined in the challenge of James Randi
and found at http://www.mamboland.com/randi/randi.html.
I don't se this as a risky thing, so far everything has been hoaxes. But
if our challenge leads to the documentation of new science, my
contribution has been worth it.
Total sum of pledges are at this state over 500,000 USD!
Frode came by later in the evening, home for the weekend. Complaining
about the military service he's now doing. Occupied my computer all
night. I said he could borrow my laptop for a while, poor guy has
to have some encouragement in these hard times.
May have a party tomorrow, talked to Trond about that yesterday.
Both Leif and Kjetil said they would drop by sometime during the
weekend as well. Well, I guess I have to clean up here then.......
don't like that (the cleaning up part I mean).
The quotation of the day:
"Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt."
Sunday, December 17th, 1995
Busy weekend this ended up being, what a start for this journal!
Slept until 1 PM Saturday, poor Tinka (my dog) got her trip at last.
Called the family, nice having free phone in the weekends when they
live so far away.
Saturdays present from Nina was a small Christmas angel, on Sunday it
was a small candlelight. Nice. :)
Cleaned up and washed the dishes (conscience at full level now). Later
Trond and Rune came, I made a reindeer dish. They said it was good,
and I'm not that modest that I can't say I agree.... Played some cards
and solved all the "world problems" (mostly meaning girls and what
to do with them;). Drank beer and something we Norwegian call 'Coffee
Doctor'. You put a small coin in a cup, and fill up with coffee
until it's covered. Then you add vodka (or usually what Americans call
moonshine) until you see the coin again. Dangerous stuff.... I preferred
to stay home while they went downtown to look for some action.
Meanwhile I meat Halrog and Nikkki on IRC. Frode came by and
later Stian (4 am). Stian totally glued himself to the keyboard, chatting
with lots of strange people.
Kjetil H. came by Sunday evening, after I've had a really relaxing day.
We looked through his CD's and I bragged about my new computer. Also talked to
Meco, better buy him a present to cheer him up before Christmas....
My neighbour (Laila) dropped by later and dragged me out for a walk in
the neighbourhood. Talked for some hours.
The quotation of the day:
"There is a God, but He drinks" [Blore]
Wednsday, December 20th, 1995
Some busy days since Sunday. Most presents was bought today and I'm almost
bankrupt..... On Saturday I head for Oslo, over 500 kilometres of
driving. The winter came to Stavanger yesterday, it's minus 5 degrees
Celsius and everything is white. I think the kids and I are the only
ones not complaining.
Sent almost 30 Christmas cards, only got 4 myself so far.
Met Kjetil J. and Stian at Kvadrat (big shopping mall) today. They
were kids I knew from when I worked at a youth club some years ago. Now
they are grown up....... strange but very good feeling.....
Have started planning next years confirmation course, which starts week 4.
In Norway we have the worlds biggest secular humanist organisation and
I am engaged in offering their alternative to the church confirmation.
Very excited about this challenge, this year was my first try and I
got lots of new ideas. Learning philosophy, ethics and moral to 15
youths can be a test in patient and self-conciseness. Especially when all
they have learned about this is related to laws and commands in a silly
religion.
Now I must go to sleep, have a meeting tomorrow with my boss.
The quotation of the day:
"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians
called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went
to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other
on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the
atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
[Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"]
Friday, December 29th, 1995
The Christmas is closing in, the days are getting longer, 1996 is just
around the corner, and I have to return to Stavanger soon. Have visited
most of the family, eaten lots of food and have got some present.
My car broke down, fortunately I found a garage that was open. Don't know
how to pay them though...... :(
I finally got some minutes in front of my computer today, used it to
reply to loads of mail. Now I have to be going, have to visit my
aunt. I'll probably write some more about my Oslo holiday later.
The quotation of the day:
"I still went to church regularly, though, until I was eighteen years old.
Then suddenly, the light bulb went on over my head. All the mindless
mobidity and discipline was pretty sick - bleeding this, painful that
and no meat on Friday. What is this shit?"
[Frank Zappa]
Tuesday, January 9th, 1996
1996 just came and didn't ask if I was ready for it! The Christmas
holiday is special to me, but at New Year's Eve I rather stay home alone
listening to nice music and eating a good meal. And that was what I
did this year too. Of course Tinka and I was out and watched all
the fireworks and then phoned the family, but afterwards I chatted
on IRC.
Have been helping Sara and Rune moving to their new house, what a house!!
If I say it has about 20 rooms and that they bought a own weighing 1.2
tons, you may get an idea.... It's going to be fantastic, but right now it's
a building area.
Also visited Kjetil H. in his new apartment, a bit smaller than his last
but very nice.
Once again my car broke down, this is getting silly (and I'm getting
even more broke). And on the top of that I got a letter from my
insurance company saying my auto insurance was terminated November
30th! They have been sending the bills to an address I had over 4
years ago, and of course got them all in return. It made me pretty
shaky, I've been driving over 1500 kilometres since it expired, if
I had crashed I would have had to pay it all!! Fortunately nothing
did happen, and the insurance is valid again now. But the car is
still at the garage....
And now I got the flu, this year starts out great! Being home from
work at least gives me time to do some work on my computer and home
page. Implementing Java Applets is the latest hot thing.
Working on a suggestion for a logo for The 2000 Club (you see it
at the bottom of my page), but have problem sending it to James
Randy for him to view. Something sounds wrong with his browser. I'm
especially proud of having his signature in my guest book! :)
Anyway, happy new year to you all. May this be a prosperous and
rewarding year for us all! In my case the only way is up.... ;)
The quotation of the day:
"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought that you
didn't believe in God?"
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting into tears, "but the God I don't
believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the
mean and stupid God you make him out to be."
[Joseph Heller]
Sunday, January 28th, 1996
Just arrived back home from five days in London. Great trip, learned lots of stuff,
got more inspiration and seen new sites. Gian and Dave took good care of me,
introduced me to their dangerous English culture..... It will be hard to become
familiar with the Norwegian way of life again. No more lunches in pubs and
party even on weekdays. Life is hard, and then you die..... One thing was
really great - having breakfast in bed! I feel so spoiled!! :)
Hopefully I'm prepared for doing the big changes at work, time will show if
I'm worth the confidence and trust.
Tinka had obviously not suffered living with my neighbour Laila, she's fit
for fight and was very happy to see me again. It's nice to have somebody
who loves you that much, even though it is a dog.
Now I've checked and answered most mails and been on IRC for a short time. Better
go to bed now. Tomorrow is a new day at job and work has probably piled up.
The quotation of the day:
"We must not hold back in the battle for children's minds"
[Church of England spokesman]
Sunday, February 4th, 1996
I'm tired!! :) On Friday I went on a trip to a cabin in Melsheia with 33 14-15
years old boys and girls (and two other leaders). Don't know if I have mentioned
it earlier, but I'm involved in arranging confirmation courses through
Human-Etisk Forbund
(a Norwegian secular humanism organisation). The course is an alternative to the
Christian confirmation course that most Norwegians go to. Instead of almost
a full year we give them a course of total 15 hours education about how
it is to become a grownup. We try to talk about things that
interests them and that is not very good covered by the public school. That
could be the worlds religions (Norwegian school system is committed to
Christianity), ethics and morality, social responsibility, criminality,
narcotics and alcohol, philosophy and difficult stuff as suicide, racism and
sexuality. The goal is to differ to the teacher/pupil roles and offer an
extension to that. It's sad to find out that most of the kids haven't
learned the must basic stuff. It really makes me mad at the school
system.
Anyway, I was talking about this trip we did.
It wasn't far, but felt like it because it was in the woods.
Great weather and fabulous nature. On Friday we stayed in, played and
talked to get to know each other better. Of course many had no plans
sleeping that night, and those who wanted to had no chance. On Saturday
we talked about the human rights and ethics. How we as kids often do
what we want within the limits other make, but when you are grown up you
have to really think for yourself and set your own sensible limitations.
So how do we make such decision? To make this more interesting I used
role play and other practical experiments. Then we went hiking to the highest
top where we got a great panorama of Jæren. Even saw two elks!
Then we had two more lessons, one which was about racism. I wanted to
test out what they did in the movie "The Wave". I separated them in two
groups, on for those with blue eyes and the other for those with brown.
I had brown and slowly I started leading the debate to the statement
that those with brown eyes often was smarter and much more successful
in life. I tried telling them that most great and famous men and women
had brown eyes, and things like if one of their parents had blue eyes I only
asked what bad things they had done. And then concluding that it was
typical blue eyed people. One girl was really mad at me, the others tried
giving examples of nice and clever blue eyed people they knew and stupid or
failed brown eyes. I was hard on the blue eyed and very nice to the two
brown eyed, the last had their own chairs but those with blue eyes
had all to sit together in one bed. I started asking if it was
right to use so much money on the blue eyed if the scientific
evidence I said I had was true. If brown eyed could get further with
less effort and money, wouldn't it be best if we supported them the most?
It was great listening to them, I was surprised how they fell for
the scam. Almost all of them had seen the film I mentioned, still
only a few knew what I did. At the end of the lesson I told them it
all was a lie, there was no such scientific proof or anything like it.
We talked about the feeling they got, the anger and frustration they felt
and tried relating that to racism. We all got friends of course, and I
hope it gave them at least one new perspective to the problems with
racism and other problems.
What I've done different this year is keeping it less formal and
letting the debate take of in another direction than I had planned
if they want to. To me it feels very unstructured this way, but they
seem to like it. Many of the subjects are closely connected out there
in real life, an important lesson is being aware of this complexity.
I really look forward to meeting some of them later in life and get
a honest evaluation and if they feel they learned anything.
Saturday evening was fun, more games and talk. After dinner people
was getting very tired. Later in the evening we made a bonfire and
grilled Marshmallows. People didn't sleep much that night either,
but there was almost no noise. I had fun, and I think they did too.
So now I'm back home, Tinka is asleep, very tired after a weekend with
so many active people. I haven't heard anything from her in five hours
now! I've had a whiskey, relaxed on IRC (Holmboe
asked an interesting question today; We've all heard of religion wars, but
have you ever heard of a philosophy war?) and I'm now evaluating the
weekend in my head. But work also troubles me. Big things have
happened, and I'm not sure what to feel about it. The details will
come later because of certain circumstances. But the next months will
be very hard, I only hope the sleeplessness will disappear. I will need all
the sleep I can get!
I forgot to mention that on Wednesday I was asked to join the group
that arrange the humanist confirmation here in Stavanger, which I
accepted.
Monica was here Thursday picking up the perfume I bought for her in
London. Later that day Oddbjørn dropped by to test Internet
(and he brought a program I have been wanting for a long time!!).
He said he was going to buy a scanner, which will solve my big
problem!! At last I can realise the last project for my home page.
News on the page is a Java drawing applet, it can be tested if you press
the signature on the bottom of my main page.
Now I've better go to bed, think most thoughts are out for now.....
at least until tomorrow.
The quotation of the day:
"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in
higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
[Nietzsche "The Dawn" (1881)]
Saturday, February 17th, 1996
Quite and lonesome Saturday, the way I like it. Need time to think and just be free.
I woke up with a long days work of
cleaning up awaiting me, I must admit it looks a bit messy here. So I went down town,
checked the newsagent and strolled around. Meat Kjetil N. and gave him a list of 16
new members for 'Ungdom Mot Narkotika'
(Youth Against Drugs). They I went to my local pub, had a pizza and some Kilkenny
beers, read the newspapers and my newly purchased copy of
Heavy Metal (haven't read that
magazine for years). Nice way of relaxing, I should do it more often.
Big news on the page; I now mirror
Dylan Green's Windows 95 Starting Page! Anything you need for the best os is linked
from there, take a look.
A friend now has three pictures (from my last hiking trip) and as soon as he
gets them scanned I will put them on my home page.
Been having some deep talks with
Halrog on IRC today, life is complicated and we have a hard time figuring
out how to organise it.... It's good to have someone to talk to, to many guy's
are to scared to be emotional. I get sick when I hear people
talk about "the strong sex" and "guys don't cry". I think it's hard to find
ones role today, wanting to be a male outside the typical role model of a strong
provider for wife and kids and having only blunt emotions. I've met to many who try
to live up to that (even some girls believing that is the way to get equality between
the sexes), I don't think they are happy. Anyway, it's not me! Thanks for
having friends on the net, like Halrog and Zieku. :)
Last Sunday Sara, Rune and Oda was here for dinner, I served a reindeer roast,
and if I may say so; it was great. They are still working on their big new house,
poor people needed some real food! Oda is so cute, talks a mixture of Norwegian
and English. I get a little jealous when meeting children of friends, but it's a
good jealousy. Since I have no children myself, I get very connected to those who
are close to me, that makes it hard to live so far away from my sister and her
children. One day I will move back to Oslo.
Bye for now..... maybe I'll clean up tomorrow......
The quotation of the day:
"The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
drifting side by side to our common doom."
[Clarence Darrow]
Thursday, February 22nd, 1996
At work I'm starting to get the hang of Oracle and the new Sun Sparc Server,
but next week Dave comes over from London and I probably have to work a
lot in the weekend to be as prepared as possible. Dave and me will be
taking a trip to Oslo.
On Tuesday there was a confirmation course. We had a visitor that is
infected with HIV and he talked how this is and how one can protect
oneself from being infected. The reaction from the youth was very
positive and they asked a lot of questions. When it was over they asked
very polite if it was okay if they all shock hands, and he politely
replied affirmative. They are great "kids"! :)
On Wednesday I was keeper of the minutes at Human-Etisk Forbund's
annual meeting.
And on Thursday we had an evaluating meeting for all the confirmation leaders,
and then I was elected leader of the confirmation committee. This means
less time on the net, but I really feel this work is important. The net
will probably still be there when I get more time.... I hope.....
I've had two sleepless nights this week, still got problems emptying my
mind of an old love. When the clock shows 3 am, I guess it's no use
going to bed. The time now is 3:40 am, at least I get to update my
journal. Tomorrow is Friday anyway, I'll go to bed right after work
and I can sleep as long as I want (or untill the phone starts).
Because of my busy schedule I have tried to keep away from debates on
the net the last months. But recently I found a debate about
The Norwegian Heathen Society
and had to join to stop some idiotic and false accusations. Of course
that escalated and now I have even more to answer. I like it, but
I think I'll save some money for either a housemaid or a secretary. :)
I did actually get one hour to clean the house today, what provoked that
was a potential visit, let's call the person X. I wouldn't say
any more than that, except that the visitor never came. But my apartment is
clean!!!
The quotation of the day:
"To make sure that my blasphemy is thoroughly expressed, I hereby state my
opinion that the notion of a god is a basic superstition, that there is no
evidence for the existence of any god(s), that devils, demons, angels and
saints are myths, that there is no life after death, heaven nor hell, that
the Pope is a dangerous, bigoted, medieval dinosaur, and that the Holy Ghost
is a comic-book character worthy of laughter and derision. I accuse the
Christian god of murder by allowing the Holocaust to take place -- not to
mention the "ethnic cleansing" presently being performed by Christians in
our world -- and I condemn and vilify this mythical deity for encouraging
racial prejudice and commanding the degradation of women."
[James Randi, challenging blasphemy laws in several US states]
Sunday, April 21st, 1996
Damn, I just wrote this piece and then exited without saving.... stupid me! :((
The spring is really here now, had some really great weather the last weeks.
Tinka has almost lost all her winter fur and I've actually done some vacuuming.
Had to, didn't want to. But everything else here is a mess, guess it's how it's
supposed to be when you're a bachelor. The mood has been poor lately, mostly
been at home feeling sorry for myself. Just can't seem to get my feelings
sorted out, love is really shit sometimes.... But hey, compared to most of my
fellow humans on this small green globe I have no right to complain. Life is
the best there is, but sometimes we just need to live out some self-pity. That's
not related to how we are, but what we are.
Done some serious remodelling on my home page. Added forms and some Java scripting.
Made the Black Scope Gallery with some of the pictures I've made the last few weeks,
had lots of fun making them. Hope I get more time to draw, I really enjoy it both
on paper and on the computer.
The photo album is also updated, Oddbjørn
needs a big thanks for scanning them!
Also got some new awards, this is crazy. And like that wasn't enough my page was
included on Internet World Exposition.
Work is still pretty demanding, since the general manager quitted awhile ago.
A fun experiment was installing Apache HTTP Server
at work. Thanks to the almighty Mike from Hays in Cardiff. ;)
The quotation of the day:
"About 200 B.C. mystery cults began to appear in Rome just as they had
earlier in Greece. Most notable was the Cybele cult centered on Vatican
hill ... Associated with the Cybele cult was that of her lover, Attis
(the older Tammuz, Osiris, Dionysus, or Orpheus under a new name). He
was a god of ever-reviving vegetation. Born of a virgin, he died and was
reborn annually. The festival began as a day of blood on Black Friday
and culminated after three days in a day of rejoicing over the resurrection."
[Gerald L. Berry, "Religions of the World"]
Thursday, June 20th, 1996
One thing makes me wonder.... actually several things make me wonder, but now
it's this thing. Friends can't understand how I love, my former girlfriend left
me several years ago and since I still love her it's not possible to find
somebody else. Then they try to help me by saying I have to go on, forget her
and find somebody else. I try to tell them that feelings doesn't work like that
for me, if I love somebody it's 100%. I can't help it, I just have to learn to
live with that. Bad luck for me if the one I end up loving does not love me back....
It scares me when people talk about love as something that
can be controlled or talked about as something rational. People try to tell
me they have loved someone just as strong as I have, but when their love was not
returned they stopped loving this person or started loving someone else.
What kind of love is this? When I look someone in their eyes and say I love
them forever and life will never be the same without them, I actually mean it.
We are different, it would be sad if everyone reacted the same. It just
makes me a bit sad and irritated that they can't understand that my feelings
may be a bit different from theirs. They keep telling me they have felt the same
as me, and still they managed to find someone else to love after a short
time. Sorry friends, that's not love as I know it, that doesn't even sound
like real love...
Got that of my mind, can't imagine who would be interested in reading this
though.... ;) Long time since I wrote here now, let's see if I remember
everything that has happened.
In May Alice (Arkana on IRC) had a party, Semtex and Eivind was there too.
Many believe computers and Internet is an anti social activity only for
nerds. For some it maybe is, like TV also is for some, but my experience is
different. The net have given me lot's of new and interesting friends. Many
of them live to far away and I may never meet them in real life, but still
I feel I know them very good. I even feel closer to some of them than many of
my friends who I see regularly.
Argh, that reminds me! Alice and her daughter is leaving soon to go on a
crazy vacation, travelling almost to the other side of the world! Me jealous?
Nooooo........
The other day I finally got Jordana's snail mail address, now I can send her
the postcards from Norway and some surprises. Also sent Norwegian postcards and
a book about Hávamál (wise words from the Viking age) to
Peter (Holland), Daniel (Germany) and Marilia (Brazil). If everything works
all of us will come together in October!! I definitely want to save up some
money and go to Brazil (maybe next year?). Marilia already sent some postcards
to me and not long time ago I got a letter from Jordana. Would be fantastic to
meet Jordana one day, we have been through some strange and hard times together
on the net. Some day I may be allowed to write about it.
Two weeks ago 19 colleges and me went to Molde, a town in the middle of Norway.
Great trip, lot's of partying in the hotel. When you get this far north it
never gets real dark this time of year, further north it is daylight all summer
and no light all winter. I've never been that far north myself, but I plan to
take a long vacation some day and drive all over Norway.
On the web front things are still pretty busy. The page for Youth Against Drugs
is taking form. Also was contacted by Michael Rosenblatt who wanted to set up
a page in appreciation to Dr. Carl Sagan. Have made this page, now we are
waiting for Dr. Sagan to reply to us.
On my personal page there has only been minor changes. Working on an icon with
a tour of the site and a page to show what kind of work I've done for others.
A Norwegian magazine called 'InterNett Guiden' mentioned my page as one of the
five best pages in their June issue.
1st of July I'm of to take Oracle Database Administration 1 course in London,
after that I hope to get a vacation. Probably have to buy a new tent, but I
need to get a hiking trip in the mountains this year.
Last Saturday I was interviewed on Æ-TV, a local TV channel. It was about
The Norwegian Heathen Society, what we do and why we feel it's important to
have an active atheist organisation that dares to ask all the "forbidden"
questions in this country where we have a state church. Thanks to Sman on IRC
that made this possible. :)
The quotation of the day:
"Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin."
[Anatole France]
Saturday, July 13th, 1996
Here is my report from one week in London (June 30th to July7th):
Sunday
Arrived at Heathrow in the evening, they really had
prepared my visit well. I've never been to Heathrow alone before
and was scared I would not find the way out, but these nice folks
parked the plane as close to the tube as possible and lined up
lots of people leading me straight to the correct platform. There
on the wall a small machine shined at me, offering pocket maps
for only one pound (this map really helped me a lot during the
week!). Since all the direction I had was to head for Victoria
station, from where I planned to take a Taxi to the hotel, I bought
the map and jumped on the first tube. Some voice in my head told
me to get of at the station before Victoria, and when I came out
of the underground; there was my hotel! Now I am not afraid of
anything, London here I come! ;)
Small room in the hotel, but fair enough. Well settled
I went out to investigate the area. Walked for one hour (have
to remember to bring proper shoes next time!) and ended up almost
where I lived the last time I was here. Found a nice restaurant
and had a simple meal. Found out after a while it must have been
a gay restaurant, some of the guys there looked like they were
more than good friends.
Monday
Woke up this morning with a big smile, with breakfast
in bed i feel like I'm on the top of the world. Even though what
they call breakfast here is not that at all. Toasting bread is
OK, when it's 3 days old. And what kind of sane people eat white
bread and jam for breakfast? The inhabitants here are cute and
harmless, but their habits are very strange.
First day at the course was a bit hard, probably
need some time to adjust to the terminology and thinking relation
database administration. Today I stayed in all evening, still
worn out after all the walking yesterday.
Learning the culture and language is very important
when you travel to strange places. Three words that are very important
in England is "thanks", "cheers" and the more
sleek "ta". These are used by the English in any situation
imaginable, and even more. Wherever you go it's "ta"
here and "thanks" there, one even thanked me for asking
him the direction to the tube. I almost feel uncivilised walking
around in London with this wild Viking blood in my veins......
Tuesday
After the course today I went to The Natural History
Museum, which is not far from the hotel. I had 25 minutes to run
through the building before they closed. Some great exhibitions,
fossils and stuffed animals. Also bought some presents for Karoline
and Joakim there. Then I went to a restaurant called Garfunkle.
Had an American barbecue dish which tasted much better than it
looked. Stayed in my room for the rest of the day, trying to study.
Another extremely important thing about the British
is how to respond when they ask how you are (I promise you that
they will ask). Being the honest guy I am I would say it as it
was, use the opportunity to get out some of the things in life
that troubled me. But be aware; this is not polite! You must always
tell them you are just fine and give a smile. You may wonder why
they ask (it may be more of a ritual than a question?), but keep
that mystery and your problems to yourself (at least until you
get home).
Wednesday
Today there was a strike at the Underground. A bit
hard to get to Richmond, but it worked out fine in the end. Nice
taking busses for a change because then you get to see much more.
Since they love us tourists so much, they have written
helpful reminders for us in the streets, For those who does not
know, on this island they turned wrong in a roundabout some centuries
ago and still haven't managed to get their cars over at the right
side of the road (they try their best, at least the car makers
adjust the cars for them by making them the wrong way round).
When the rest of the world looks to the left just before crossing
the road, in Britain this could give you a free ticket to your
creator (or whatever). So in the road they have written "LOOK
RIGHT" and I take it as a nice gesture to us foreign pedestrians.
The problem was that I found myself walking around looking down
on the ground for new messages all the time..... Lucky I'm still
alive.
Thursday
The strike only lasted for one day, so no problem
getting to Richmond today. The final day of the course went okay
I guess, but there are surely more to Oracle administration than
I thought.
Mike came today and booked in at the same hotel.
As usual he got the biggest room, wonder what he does with the
receptionists when he checks in??? Anyway, Mike, Gian, John, Dave,
me and a couple of others from Hays went out to eat in the evening.
Bill Wyman (from Rolling Stones) has a restaurant called
Sticky
Fingers. And wow was that good, really recommendable
if you are hungry and want to have a great time. But be aware;
it's not called "Sticky Fingers" for no reason!!! Then
we went to a pub, but after that meal the atmosphere was pretty
relaxed around the table... Ended up in the hotel were we sat
for a long time talking.
Friday
Me and Mike went to Stockwell (Hays main office in
London) and had a meeting with Gian. Mike later went back to Cardiff
and I started exploring the city. Went to Victoria where there
is an internet cafe, sat there for an hour talking to friends
on IRC. Have also taken some pictures and hope to have them on
my page soon.
Saturday
Today I did the big tour of London, think I've been
everywhere (on foot!). Visited a Leonardo da Vinci exhibition
at Buckingham Palace and went to one of those cinemas where the
seats move when you watch. Walked up and down all the main shopping
streets and had a meal at Pizza Hut. All I bought though was a
shirt and two videos of Monty Python. And I don't even have a
video player...
As mentioned earlier it's very important to show
gratitude here, but it's just as important to be sorry for absolutely
everything. If you complain about the weather, you can be almost
sure someone sneaks in a "sorry" before you get to add
that it reminds you of home. Going through a crowd can be an ordeal
, not only do you have to watch where you are going and what you
step on, but all the time you have to go "Sorry..... thanks....
sorry... thanks... sorry... thanks........."
Sunday
Planned to spend some time to shop at Heathrow, but
the check-in queue at SAS was so long that when I finally finished
checking in I had to run to the plane.
Heidi and a friend picked me up at the airport and now everything
is back to normal, pretty boring in other words....
At least I survived, and I learned to know the Brits
a little bit better. Hope all my comments don't sound like complaining,
I had a great time. :)
The quotation of the day:
"I would shoot the bastards if I was allowed, because a woman can't
represent Christ. Men and women are totally different, that's not
my fault, and Jesus chose men for his disciples."
[Church of England vicar Rev. Anthony Kennedy, March 9,1994 regarding female CofE priests]
Sunday, July 13th, 1996
Another weekend, why am I not shouting with joy? Before I went
to London I sent an application for a job in Oslo, this week
they called and asked if I could come for an interview. So I'm
off to Oslo on Thursday evening, taking Monday and Tuesday of.
This makes me glad, but still life gets a bit hard in
the weekends. Gee, must I complain today too? Shut up and
smile Andreas! :)
Frode and Trond (and later Trond M.) visited yesterday, helped
Trond with some HTML coding. He bought my laptop by the way, at
last I got rid of it.
Haven't been much on the net, but edited some on my home page.
Added a "Tour of the site" which brings the visitor through
the most important pages easily. Worked some on the layout
and the animated gif, the first drafts was terrible. I'm
close to do some serious refurnishing on my first page, have
to cut down on the images and some other stuff. It will come to
me, just have to let it fly around in my head for some days.
Got a BIG surprise in the mail the other day! A big book
about Holland, lots of great landscape photograph’s by Martin
Kers. It was a present from Wenda and Frans III, they are
crazy! It was real nice of them, I owe them some big hugs. :)))
Think I forgot to mention that Monica came by the other day,
she moved to Oslo now, back together with her old boyfriend.
If I move back to Oslo it will be nice to have her there.
Bye for now my dear journal, hope to see you soon....
The quotation of the day:
"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish,
appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave
mankind, and monopolize power and profit."
[Thomas Paine]
Saturday, August 17th, 1996
Back to reality, it had to come to this...
On Monday I started one week of vacation, packed my ruck-sack and said
goodbye to everything. Drove for two hours up in the mountains. Some
years ago a former construction road from Sinnes to Setesdal was opened
for public trafic, after two hours I reached the highest point (1052
meters over sea level) and was ready to make the final escape.
Some guys asked for a lift to their car some miles away and that made
me a little late.
Before Tinka and I left she to have some pain in her back legs, so I decided
to take it easy this year. The last 10 summers or so I've had at least one
week in the mountains, sort of need it to "recharge the batteries".
Because of Tinka I did not plan to go far this year, and being lazy
suited me good. Even though the weather report was promising, on
Monday evening it didn't look very good. But I parked the car and got
all my gear on, after scaring of a very annoying sheep. Just over a hill
I found this nice lake, and a fine spot to make camp.
Planted a big steak on the grill and made myself comfortable outside the
tent. It's impossible to explain the feeling you get when you sit there.
No noice, people, tv, radio, clock or work. Just me and Tinka, with an
interesting book by James Randi and a fantastic view.
Tuesday came and the sun with it, the weather could not have been better.
I'm not in a situation where I like to show off my body, being a little
embarrased because I weigh to much. Being alone and not caring about
any of those things that you have to live with all year, gives me a
special kind of freedom sunbading with no clothes on. In the beginning
I was a bit afraid someone would come over the mountain top, but soon
relaxed. I must have been a sight there I lay, with a big smile from ear to
ear and a cup with cognac in my hand. When the heat was to intense I
had a bath, and when Tinka was to restless we went for small walks to the
hills nearby. Beside from that I read two books or just sat there smiling
and thinking about life. Anybody out there feeling the stress or
any frustration; this is what you should do! I'll live on this week for
a whole year now.
The plan was to stay untill Sunday, but on Friday I was so burned by the
sun that I either had to stay in the tent or get dressed if I wanted to
stay. Instead I went home. Now I've found a nice place to go even for
a short weekend trip, I'll be back.
The quotation of the day:
"The ancient poets animated all objects with Gods or Geniuses, calling them
by the names and adorning them with the properties of woods, rivers,
mountains, lakes, cities, nations, and whatever their enlarged & numerous
senses could perceive. And particularly they studied the genius of each
city & country, placing it under its mental deity; Till a system was formed,
which some took advantage of, & enslav'd the vulgar by attempting to realize
or abstract the mental deities from their objects: thus began priesthood;
Choosing forms of worship from poetic tales.
And at length they pronounc'd that the Gods had order'd such things.
Thus men forgot that all deities reside in the human breast."
[William Blake, from "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"]
Sunday, October 13th, 1996
Sitting here alone listening to The River by Bruce Springsteen.
It's 1 am and only few hours before the big event. Peter from
Holland (Zieku on IRC) and Daniel (Halrog on IRC) is now on the
ferry between Denmark and Norway, on their way to visit me!!!
The last two days I've been washing the apartment, I can't
describe all the strange things I found in that project. To
sum it up: IT WAS NOT TO EARLY!
As I said Peter and Daniel are on their way, probably just as
nervous about this as I am. We have know eachother a long time
but only talked via mail and IRC. Lots of people shake their head
about this, meeting two strangers (in their eyes) like this,
to them Internet is a cold and unpersonal media and
nobody can get aquainted that way. I know otherwise, Peter and
Daniel mean a lot to me and are defenitely two of my very dearest
friends. We've been through a lot of strange things, more than
I can explain here.
I've taken the week of from work, what we plan to do all depends
on the weather. Not looking good at the moment though. :(
I guess they arrive in Kristiansand 7 am and will probably need
3-4 hours to get here (if they don't drive in the wrong direction
and end up in Oslo). Because they've been driving all day I
figure we'll take it easy and just talk and eat. Been out
shopping and plan to make Gulasj for them today.
Another friend of ours from the net, Marilia from Brasil, is
now in London with her boyfriend Joao. We really hope they
can make a detour to Stavanger, would be fantastic if all of
us could meet at the same time. Hope we hear from them during
the week anyway.
I better finish this mug of beer and go to bed. Had hoped Wenda
(another IRC friend, a colleague of Peter in Holland)
joined me on IRC, but she's probably at sleeps now.
The quotation of the day:
"Ask youself whether the dream of heaven and greatness
should be waiting for us in our graves--or whether it
should be ours here and now and on this earth."
[Ayn Rand]
Friday, October 18th, 1996
The week is over, time goes so fast when you have a good time. :( Peter
and Daniel just drove of, they are taking the evening ferry from
Kristiansand to Denmark. Drive carefully my friends.
When they arrived on Sunday we walked some in the town but mostely stayed inside talking and eating. Got
a nice elk from Daniel and a big box with lot's of stuff from Holland.
Germa had made a fantastic red tshirt for me (!), she had drawn an image from my
home page on it (the one saying "Through my MIND..."). Wenda sent a survival
kit and lots of glasses, she sounded a bit sceptic about Peter and how
he would manage the trip. Now she can rest, they both handled Norway and
me just fine and lived up to the expectation, and the Peter-instructions
from her came in handy.
On Monday we drove up the mountains and down Lysebotn in the end of Lysefjorden.
There is a tradition to build small varde's (a pile of stone to mark
a path in the mountains) up on the top, and we could see thousands of them
there. The weather was not very good, but I managed to get them out of
the car and make them collect some stones for their own personal
varde. An experience to remember for the rest of their lifes.... ehhh.....
On the way back we stopped for coffee and cake on Sinnes hotel and visited
the place I work.
Tuesday we walked around town again, including the older part of Stavanger.
Wednesday the compass pointed north, after driving through tunnels several
hundred meters below sea level and taking a ferry we ended up in
Skudesneshavn. Walked in the old part of town and took another ferry back
to Stavanger.
Thursday was supposed to be the BIG day, everything was planned and prepared
to take a flight with a small plane around the county and in Lysefjorden.
On one side of the fjord is the Pulpit, a very popular tourist attraction 600
meters above the sea. On the other side Kjerag with a sheer drop of
1000 meters and the famous Bolt. Walking up here is a great experience,
but in October the weather is a bit cold so we dropped that. The weather turned
today and with a blue sky and a shining sun I started looking forward
to the flight (must admit it was a bit scary because I've never been in
a small plane before). But in the last minute the pilot had to cancel
because of other flights. Instead we went to a shopping center and later
the beach. The only light was millions of stars in the sky, not enough
to easily find our way back to the car.
Now it's Friday and I'm sitting here alone thinking. How strange life is,
many months ago I started a channel on IRC called #Valhall with the topic
"A place to go after a hard day (or night...). All friendly minds welcome! :)"
and these two guys from Germany and Holland stumbled over it. Long nights
with chatting proved we were interested in more than shallow chatting
about meaningless subjects. Other people came and went like clouds
on the sky, while we always returned; the 3 musketeers was reborn.
Peter and Daniel both live close to the border and only two hours driving
from eachother. They met some months ago but always talked about coming
to Norway in October. I must admit it sounded a bit far fetched, who
would drive all the way from Holland and Germany to meet Tinka and me?
I always knew they were special guys, now I'm only more sure. Our
friendship means a lot to me and our contact and especially this week is something
I'll take extra good care of in my memory. Early 1997 I plan to drive down and visit
them, I just have to meet Germa and the kids, and I have to fulfill my
promise to Wenda and take her and our donkey out on a date. :)
Bye my dear friends, hope your visit in Norway was worth the long ride and
that you one day come back so I can take you on a flight you never will forget!
Pictures from this week will follow, look out.
The quotation of the day:
"God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be
tortured for eternity in hell. That sir, is not free will. It would be akin
to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave
me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we
call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/execution. When god
says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor."
[William C. Easttom II, skeptic@icon.net]
Sunday, June 22nd, 1997
Life is full of wins and losses, some of the reports to this journal is
lost because I saved an old file on the new one. That's life, you can't
give up whatever happens.
The last 8 months has been incredible. I've created Operation Clambake,
which is my contribution to the fight against the "Church" of Scientology.
It's a long, but simple, story how I got mixed up in that fight. The main
thing is that I have no regrets that I dared to stand up and do what I thought
was right there and then. I was well aware of the danger, there were good
reasons to suspect that this cult would both sue me and do everything
possible to stop me. It turns out, so far, that they seem to be paralized
by all the problems they have around the world, they haven't tried to do
much with me so far. I keep hearing rumours they are working on something,
but time goes.
What I did was make public on my homepage a lot of their secret scriptures,
revealing their founder to be a real mad person and the cult he left to be
a dangerous mafia who is a threat to our society. Whatever they do to me, I will
fight with all I got. Since they may sue me and maybe even win because they got
more resources. The more eager they get to silence me, the more they will see
of my face. Too many people have been hurt by crazy cults and madmen, it's
about time we dare to stand up for what we believe in, even though we have a
good life. If we don't want to risc somebody for others, what will happen the
day we are in trouble? I hope someone will be there for me...
It's finally summer again. I love walking around in shorts and without
shoes. I'm so proud I finally managed to quit smoking 2 weeks ago, problem is
that I start gaining weight because of that. Well, smoke is worst than weight
I suppose, so I I can learn to live with that. :)
I've not had time to update my personal page, the time I get to do some
work with HTML goes to Operation Clambake. Alse got a dog to take care of
and a job that demands more each week. I love the challenge, but it would help
if the private life was a bit better. I'm not made to be alone, and I still
have problems with old feelings regarding my ex girlfriend. I will probably
always love her, I can't help it. Even if she is long gone now.
"Fear believes -- courage doubts. Fear falls upon the earth and
prays -- courage stands erect and thinks. Fear is barbarism --
courage is civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft, in devils
and in ghosts. Fear is religion, courage is science."
[Robert G. Ingersoll]
Monday, December 14th, 1998
Another 1 ½ years has gone by. How time flies when you are having
fun.
Tinka passed away this year. She lived with my
brother in Oslo the last months. She was really sick in the end, so the
best thing was to put her to sleep. My grandmother also passed away, but
that was not so bad, and not unexpected. She had been gone mentally for years, there was
nothing left of her but an empty shell. It was tragic visiting her and she
not recognicing anybody, often angry and scared, never knowing who or
where she was. She had a tough childhood which leaded her into living her
gownup life as a very religious person. I have very few memories of her and
my grandfathers being Christian, but none of them are bad. Their belief
gave them a meaning in life, even though the times and the pietism had
its not so good side-effects. They were very nice people and I love the
memory of them. What makes me angry are the images of their god presented
by other Christians. My grandmother lived the best life she understood,
believing in and giving everything to Jesus. If he had been for real, how
could he allow her living her last years like that, knowing what she had
been through? Where were he then?
When she was alone at night scared, without any personality or memories left,
not even able to receive help and support from those who loved her? If
anything, her suffering made me strengthen my disbelief in this fairy-tale.
My memories of her and others I have lost still lives strongly in me, they are
important to me and that is all I want to be to others. Hopefully I will
manage to be an example to others, keeping alive memories of what I believe is good
and valuable. Working with kids gives some of that, I hope some will remember
me as a honest and nice person who could be an example for them in some way.
I want to look back before I die and think I lived a good life. Being
lucky enough to grow up in a good place and haven had a very rich life
does not satisfy me. It is hard to challenge life and maybe give away some
of the security, but I've done the first step by challenging the international
mafia of religion. I've also shown pride in being myself and setting my own
standards. I could have turned the blind eye to this cult, but I'm proud that
I didn't. Not many understand me, that doesn't make it easier, but I've
finally learned not to let the opinion of others direct my life. Hey, this
is who I am, take it or leave it. I'm no genious, I'm not perfect and I
defenitely do not know every answer. But I do have opinions and I am very
aware of my own shortcomings. That makes me someone others can trust.
I have one side with my personality that is a blessing, and a threat. I
never am really bored. I might be all alone for days, but still I don't
even have time to sleep. That is great when you are alone, always one million
things I want to do, even if only to be lazy. But it is a problem when it
comes to relationships and friends. I'm not good enough at nurturing them.
This campaign to reveal Scientology for example takes a big chunk of my
spare time, and having a rather demanding job, there isn't enough hours in a day.
And then there are the atheist and secular humanist organisations I want to
do some work for, friends to visit and write to, develope my personal homepage, drawing,
travelling, reading, etc. Taken some days off lately just to relax and do
such stuff, but ended up being pissed again at the cult and did some work
on Operation Clambake (did I mention
that I got a domain for it now?) and watch a lot of videos. My new laptop has
a DVD player and I just had to test it out of course...
I managed to stay of the sigaretts for well over a year, but some weeks ago
I started smoking sigars now and again. I have a problem when I don't smoke
with the hunger never stopping. I get full, but I'm still hungry. That's not
good when I easily gain weight. Having a sigar takes away the hunger in the evenings,
so I've used that a lot the last days when I've been on vacation. Not proud
of it, and I'll not try to make up any excuses for myself.
The love life is a little better. Not over my ex, and not found anybody
new, but hopefully starting to see the light in the end of the tunnel. Have
had periods when I've been very depressed, and that makes me crumble up in bed
and just want to be alone for days. I suspect I'm lucky since I have a way of always
fighting my way through it. I'm not the type who for example would give up
or take my life. It's a thought everybody have had, and I'm not afraid to
talk about it, but it's not me. I got my share of problems, but I'm also what
could be concidered a very positive person. A positive realist one might say.
Life has its ups and downs, acknowledging them both actually gives more perspective
on life. And one learn to appreciate the good things when they come along.
And they do, I just have to keep on going.
Very unsure how my partner in life would be like, at the moment I'm just
keeping all possibilities open.
"I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never
again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and
suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity.
Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal
torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules.
Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love
that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is
respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a
healthy, unafraid human being."
[Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith"]
Sunday, July 16th, 2000
Either time is going faster or my brain is getting older and therefore
sense less of the time passing - anyway, at this progressive rate I
will soon turn 70.
Life is a roller coaster. One year ago I found the person that I thought
was the one I've been looking for. We have been living together and
things seemed finally to be going in the right direction.
But sadly not for my partner. We have now gone seperate ways and I've
moved to a new apartment. I've emotionally matured a lot so I notice that
I handle this breakup differently. But these things are never easy of
course.
Even though I love and miss my ex a lot, I have no bitter or bad
feelings. When two people drift apart or one of them find hurdles they
can't cross, some relationships turn sour and can turn really nasty.
Our relationship was buildt on honesty so the breakup was done in
a nice way.
I really like my new apartment, I got plenty of exiting challenges at
work and more than enough project going on in my spare time. Trying
out IRC again after a pause for several years. Life goes
on, again. :-)
"I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some
thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as
I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural
traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that
it is more than wishful thinking. The world is so exquisite with so
much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves
with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better
it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and
to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity
that life provides."
[Carl Sagan, 1996 in his article "In the Valley of the Shadow" Parade Magazine Also, "Billions and Billions" p. 215]
|