South Park got some help from an expose author. Posted from a November 14, 2005 article at
"Wednesday's edition of South Park tackles Scientology, in the typically oblique fashion fans of the show know and dig. But what's particularly interesting about the episode titled 'Trapped in the Closet' is that show producers tapped Mark Ebner for script consultation.
The Hollywood journo and celebrity-dirt-digger wrote this legendary Spy magazine article on Scientology from 1996, which began:
I am an ex-drug addict who has solicited prostitutes in my day. I've also masturbated and inhaled at the same time, and I have been arrested more than once in my life. I dropped out of high school, and I've been under psychiatric care. Oh yeah, and I owe the IRS roughly six thousand dollars that they are well aware of."
In anticipation of the Wednesday program, one poster commented:
"Oh, jeeze...best South Park EVER!"
Comments following the show included:
"Full on OT III!!!!!"
"I'm stunned. They called it a scam on national tv. and during the OTIII part, the text
'This is what Scientologists actually believe'
THANKS, MARK EBNER! ..."
According to one poster,
"One of the most visited movie sites on the web has a talkback page about tonight's South Park. The general consensus seems to be that it was the best episode ever:
Comments to postential new visitors to the news group included:
"So, welcome newcomers! The story of Scientology has many layers, but the one true thing is this: When you think it can't possibly get any worse, it does."
"So you saw South Park and learned the once heavily-guarded secret beliefs of Scientology. Weird stuff! And damned funny.
But that's not why most real critics have a problem with Scientology. It's not the beliefs. Lots of religions have weird beliefs, if you think about it...
It's the scamming. The lies. The money. The abuse of people and the law.
You saw how part of it works. It starts as self help, pop psychology, it's often not posed as a religion at first, but as a modern science of mental health. A test, tell you there are problems, tell you Scientology can help you with that, offer some courses that cost a couple of bucks. Self help. Indeed, that's how it started. But after a while, 'the religion angle' was added, for tax and shield reasons. Now, if you've got a problem with their scam you can be called a religious bigot, a person who is against the first amendment and etc.
Lying starts at the beginning, and runs throughout. Xenu? Never heard of it. Compatible with other religions? Sure, yep, no problem. Disease? No problem, just keep it on the downlow. We can cure cancer, we just can't SAY we can.
Posted under the thread "before you hassle a Scientologist about Xenu"
"You have to understand something. Most Scientologists you'll ever encounter have not gone far enough up the ladder to know about Xenu.
The Xenu story really is secret, and you will pay big bucks before you get to it.
When a Scientologist tells you they don't know nothin 'bout no Xenu, they are probably not lying. You have to be OTIII to learn the Xenu story."
The show was subsequently made available over the Internet by at least two sites,
A review was posted, citing
"South Park Mocks Tom Cruise, Scientology In Newest Episode
by M. Centanni
Nov 18, 2005
The episode starts off with Stan visiting a Church office, where he is hailed as the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard by the leaders of Scientology because of his 'ot-9' results on the Churches E-meter test.
Meanwhile, the head of the church reveals the Secret doctrine of life behind Scientology to Stan. He tells Stan that the reasons for everyone's woes in the world are because the Evil Lord Xenu frozen some alien souls and dumped them into a volcano in ancient Hawaii. The aliens' souls thawed and found human hosts at the dawn of time, inflicting the woes of the world on man. While this story is being told, the words 'Scientologists Really Believe This' are shown in various ways on the screen.
Stan eventually buys in and sets his pen to write down new 'rules' and 'laws' for the church. Kyle, Cartman and Kenny try to talk some sense into Stan: 'L. Ron Hubbard is a sci-fi writer that got busted by the Feds for living with boys on a boat numerous times,' says Kyle.
Stan comes out dressed like Caesar 'as the reincarnate of L. Ron Hubbard' ...but Stan, after realizing that the Church was only in it for the money, just can't go through with perpetuating the lie.
'Scientology is just a big fat global scam,' Stan says.
Only then does Cruise come out of the closet [along with Travolta and R.Kelly] and threatens to sue Stan saying: 'I'll sue you in England!'
"12 November 2005
I completed New OT8 in February 1990 after being in Scientology since 1973. During that period I was mainly 'public' but did several years as a staff member in Paris Org as Qual Sec. I trained up to be a C/S, FPRD and Confessional auditor and solo auditor. I was a Scientology celebrity as an international fine artist, creating beautiful paintings of 'visualized' music. Many Scientologists (thousands) knew me personally from my art tours of orgs and missions in the early 1980s. Samples of my art can be seen at
Though you may read about how and why I actually left Scientology on the internet (you would probably have to use a non-Scientologist's computer, however) and see the data at www.lermanet.com/michaelpattinson, I wanted to address a simple letter of 'Truth Revealed' to you here. After all, that is the very name of the OT8 level.
I WENT ALL THE WAY UP THE BRIDGE (there is no available level above New OT8).
What happened then is why I am writing this letter. I wish it was not necessary to write this but it is. I firmly believe that Truth is a friend to, and that lies are an enemy of survival. Yes, feel free to investigate what I write about here...
It is truly heartbreaking for me to have to inform you that you have been lied to, and not just in a small way. I am so, so sorry to have to tell you this, but please bear with me.
You have been lied to regarding the 'Bridge to Total Freedom' as it does not arrive at Total Freedom. I know this because I have been there and experienced it. OT8 is NOT Total Freedom, yet there is no more Bridge to travel.
You may have wondered why OTs still behave in 'strange' or weird ways and still exhibit aberrated behaviors. They are on the big secret missed withhold of not having received what LRH promised. Every non-OT 'misses' the withhold.
You have been lied to about O.T.powers. I will not go into any case data or OT level data as it is not necessary, but I can tell you that the advertised and promised O.T powers LRH writes about such as telekinesis (moving objects as a thetan), perfect total recall, 'clear' of any and all aberrations, permanently Cause over Life, real-life Cause over MEST, etc are NOT in reality delivered by Scientology (in my direct experience and in that of many others).
The internet is a source for you to explore the truths that hundreds of former Scientologists, some from Int Exec strata, have written and revealed.
Truth, being made of pure Life itself can never be 'entheta'. It is pure theta, even if shocking in its first impact ;like the sunshine that dazzles the eyes of someone emerging from a deep and dark cavern, having followed a closely taped path to nowhere but blind obedience. But why, you may ask, not let us down slowly? Well, we who 'found out' were not let down slowly and we survived the truth and its powerful re-orientations. So can you.
I invite you to explore the internet and finding your own freeing truths. I ask that you open your eyes and see for yourself. I invite you to see both sides of the Scientology coin.
Pattinson later added that he was "not saying that people should send copies of this letter to Scientologists but I have no active objection to it as long as it is done tastefully and lovinlgly. If anyone does do this please put it on a nice quality of paper etc, as I am an artist and it has to be nicely presented."
After having received some feedback, he was also pleased to announce:
"I am really touched by the emails I am getting.
Some of my old-time scn friends are OUTTTTT."
"Monday this week Operation Clambake - www.xenu.net - celebrated 9 years. Next year there will be The Party, about to plan that trip. :-)"
"5 June 1991
NOISEY INVEST DRILL.
1. Analyze the files of the who for suspected crimes, connections, omitted data, buttons.
2. Do an ODC on subject to fill] in any holes.
3. Plan the investigation
4. Do PI briefing pack
5. Brief PI and get his proposed investigation steps.
6. Propose the investigation project.
7. Clear the project with counsel.
8. Clear the project with invest seniors.
9. Run PI on the project on daily BPs.
0. Debrief the PI daily.
1. Report on PI products daily
2. Analyze new data uncovered for crimes, leads, etc. and change PI project as needed
3. Exchange data with PR and Legal
4. Plan out utilization of data gotten."
When questioned on the origin of the document, the poster replied
"...The date seems bizarre, but since it has been confirmed as an existing fact by our good ex-OSA Frank Oliver, I think it's factual. Looks so on the copy (bad quality) that I have."
"On 29 December 2003 scientologist Willem Van Rompay killed 23 year old Katrijn Borré, a girl he had met/dated for five times but she had enough and ended it. He went to her shop and shot her twice.
Willem gave lots of conflicting statements prior of what he had in mind when he drove to the shop. At one time it was to talk at another time to shoot her and yet at another moment he went there thinking in a flash that perhaps he might would rape and kill her. Though during court appearance he said he would never have raped her.
Van Rompay and his family are members of the Church of Scientology and that aspect was touched upon frequently during the court appearance. The young man says he couldn't find help for his problems because that is not done in the Church of Scientology. Help needs to come from within and he hadn't any money for that. 'My father had all ready paid 40.000 euro in bills for several [Scientology] treatments.'
His father doesn't come visit him in jail. 'As a scientologist he beliefs in re-incarnation. If it depends on my father, I should commit suicide as soon as possible. He has let me know that in my next life he would welcome me with open arms.'"
"The nonprofit Clearwater Downtown Partnership will be a private sector advocate for redevelopment, lobbying voters as needed and working with City Hall.
Published November 13, 2005
CLEARWATER - A group of energetic business owners and civic leaders are banding together to help shape the future of Cleveland Street, and for an idea of what's possible they are looking south to St. Petersburg.
The newly created Clearwater Downtown Partnership will become the private voice championing an urban renaissance for Clearwater, an ally with a City Hall pledging downtown prosperity one day.
'Who would have, eight, 10 years ago, said, 'Hey, let's go to downtown St. Pete?' ' said Joe Scanlon, a partnership executive board member. 'You need to have the vision. St. Pete took their natural stuff and had the guts to do something with it. There's nothing stopping the same thing from happening in downtown Clearwater.'
It must also attract buyers and visitors and merchants to a downtown that now primarily functions as Scientology and government campuses.
'The church is not going to go away,' said Bob Clifford, a board member, who works for SunTrust Bank and is also a member of the Clearwater Regional Chamber of Commerce executive committee. 'The population in Clearwater is going to have to learn to live with the Church of Scientology.'"
"Ryan's Moonie 'peace' mission
Those who believe that Armageddon is nigh may be right, judging by strange new alliances in Dublin's alternative religions. The Bible, after all, predicts that the 'last days' will see the merging of disparate sects.
Gerard Ryan, the public face of Scientology in Ireland, has just been appointed a 'peace ambassador' by the group formerly known as the Unification Church, aka the Moonies.
The apparent link-up between two cults will be seen by many as sinister. However, Ryan insists that he accepted the 'ambassadorship' in a personal capacity. He attended the recent Moonie conference in Dublin, at which Rev Sun Myung Moon, its founder, spoke for four hours, but was not impressed. 'I disagree with virtually everything he says,' declares Ryan."
"The 2005 IAS event was held at Saint Hill, UK over the weekend of October 30th. The night before the IAS event, the IAS Patron's Ball/Charity event was held. That was the event reported by the media that told of Tom Cruise, Katie, John Travolta and others entertaining the guests.
The video of this event played at the US orgs the weekend of November 4th and 12th.
I was looking forward to seeing how they were going to spin the Cruise media entheta. They left that task up to Mike Rinder. There was Tom Cruise, their number one boy, sitting in the front row and Rinder enlightened us by telling us that as a result of Tom's tirades on psych drugs, there were now hundreds of thousands fewer children taking some psych drug for ADHD. ..."
A.r.s. Week in Review is put together for your benefit. This collection is organised for WWW by Andreas Heldal-Lund.