Recovery from the Scientology experience can take a long time.
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On 26 May 1997 19:25:17 -0700, Warrior <warrior@electrotex.com> wrote:
>Hello,
>
>[posted only]
>
> Glad to hear from you. I have been receiving a *lot* of email. It seems
>that my postings touched a nerve with many former Scientologists, particularly
>former Sea Org members.
>
> I just grew tired of remaining silent on my experiences during my Sea Org
>years. I _had_ been afraid of speaking up! I realized that I was letting
>myself be intimidated into silence by the Scientologists. Recently I realized
>that my fears were keeping me a prisoner of my own mind. Had I done anything
>wrong to Scientology? I asked myself this question over and over during a span
>of *months*. The answer was and is always the same -- NO! So, why then was I
>fearing to speak up? I realized that Scientology still had a hold on my life
>and my mind.
>
> I left the Sea Org 13+ years ago! At that time I tried to just move on with
>my life and put the SO experience behind me. Perhaps I never dealt with it.
>
> What drew me to this newsgroup was the raid on Arnaldo Lerma. Late one night
>I was watching CNN Headline News when the report showed Lerma at his place. I
>remember thinking, "This is America!! *How* can a person be treated this way
>for simply telling the truth?!?!" I believed, as Arnie did, that since certain
>"upper level" materials had been entered into a court case, that it should be
>OK to reproduce it.
>
> So Scientology has themselves to assign "CAUSE" to for "pulling me in" to
>this newsgroup!
>
> Before I leave ARS, I will tell everything I know, everything I observed,
>everything I saw happen to others.
>
> I will state here and now that I am *definitely* a critic of Scientology.
>I do not believe that anyone or anything will ever stop some _individuals_ from
>believing in or practicing Scientology, any more than I expect the practice of
>Satanism to cease.
>
> What I definitely *do* hope to accomplish is to expose the actual practices
>of Scientology, especially its' lies, abuses, manipulations, and betrayals.
>
> I have grown *VERY* TIRED of Scientology's lies. And I intend to speak out
>against their madness.
>
>Warrior
>
Greetings!
Thanks for your response. I do totally understand where you are
coming from with your attitudes and decisions with regard to Scn.
I left the CofS 12 years ago. I did actually carry on with the
Bridge, completing OT1 - OT7 as well as the Ls. these were delivered
to me by a splinter group based in Scotland. I was completely
disillusioned with these levels, they did not empower, change or even
enhance my life.
I should explain here that the way that I left the CofS was with the
help of a Class IV org staff member (I was a Sea Org Missionaire).
Although he was pissed off with the politics and antics inside of the
CofS, he very firmly believed the Scn technology. I stayed in a
relationship with this guy for ten years. This is why I know I never
really was able to snap my head out of the Scn conditioning until the
last few years.
Like you, I am tired of carrying the knowledge of what happened to me
and what I witnessed. I do feel that Scn will never go away and I
don't think that is my reason for becoming involved with this
newsgroup. However, I feel that the bad practices and unjust
behaviour must come out in the open so that it does not continue.
You know, when I came out of the church, I was declared an SP and then
I fell extremely ill, I came very close to dying due to a misdiagnosis
by the doctor's attending to my health. You can imagine what that did
to my head. I was very scared and kept thinking, maybe there was
truth in what happens to a person who blows the CofS. I am happy to
say that I made a full recovery. However, I feel that I really am
only now coming to grips with the manipulative effect Scn had on my
psyche.
I actually wrote an account of my experiences for a lawyer in Britain
who is currently trying to prosecute a case against Scn on a pro bono
basis. Once this is over, I intend to make the statement public.
Stay in touch.
Moira Hutchison