[21 Dec 1997]

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Date: 21 Dec 1997 19:00:33 +1100
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A shy guy (well, his library card just said "Anonymous") wandered into the
ARSCC Chimerical Library, bumped into me and made me drop my books. Helping
me pick them up, he said, "Say, you're a librarian!" (Thanks for noticin,'
masked man.) Then he said:

>I bought New Slant On Life from a regular bookstore (I don't go
>into the orgs anymore) for a family member and was going to give
>it for Christmas, but a friend of mine said this new paperback
>version wasn't written by Hubbard.

Being *just* the girl who could help him dispel his misgivings, I lured him
over to the terminal, clicked my long red nails on the keys, and Telnetted
to the Library of Congress. We can't have nasty rumors like that floating
around... . Well, dip me in minty chocolate and call me a Christmas
bon-bon! The author *ain't* L. Ron Hubbard! The author is "Church of
Scientology International!"

*Why* are you looking at me with open mouths like that? Is it this dress? I
mean, it's low-cut, and it's red and all, but--well, you know, what with it
being close to Christmas... Or is it this sprig of mistletoe dangling from
my necklace? That's just for fun, silly!

Here, I'll show you what I found at the Library of Congress:

TITL: A New slant on life / L. Ron Hubbard.
IMPR: Los Angeles : Bridge Publications, c1988.
PHYS: 206 p.
CLNA: Norman F. Starkey as executor of the Estate of L. Ron
Hubbard d.b.a. L. Ron Hubbard Library, Los Angeles
DCRE: 1988 DPUB: 8Oct88 DREG: 28Nov88
APAU: some text, compilation, paintings used for dustcover art:
Church of Scientology International
PREV: Prev. reg. 1970, A145211.
LINM: NM: "some text, compilation, paintings used for cover art."
XREF: cL. Ron Hubbard Estate of. SEE L. Ron Hubbard Library, Los

How do you like *them* apples! (Not THESE apples; *them* apples!)

The abbreviation "APAU" means "Name(s) of authors(s) on application." The
name "L. Ron Hubbard"--which is a trademark now, controlled by CST through
RTC--has been made part of the *title*. How cute! Now "L. Ron Hubbard" can
go on the book covers as part of the *title*, and all those Scientology
shoppers standing in line to hand over their Christmas cash for this
heavily-advertised book will still think L. Ron Hubbard is the sole
*author*, and nobody would ever guess! Oh, that bunch of lawyers calling
themselves the L. Ron Hubbard Library are just *so* clever. I mean, *I*
never would have thought of something like that in just a *ga-zillion*
years! They can sell *anything* and put the trademark "L. Ron Hubbard" on

Of course, the fact that the "DCRE" (Date Created) is two years *after* L.
Ron Hubbard died is kind of a give-away, but--shoot, who's going to go
snooping around in the Library of Congress to find this stuff out? (Who
except your own little sweet Librarian!)

Wonder who wrote the "NM" (New Material) that is described as "some text"?
Wonder how *much* new text? Wonder why those authors aren't given credit
anywhere in or on the book? Wonder, wonder, wonder.

Oh, well. Thought you should know that <SIGH> I'm gonna' have to take the
"Recommended Reading" sticker off of this book at the ARSCC Chimerical
Library. I mean, what good is it *here* if we can't even tell who wrote
what! Wonder if some of those big, glitzy, publically-traded bookstore
chains still have "Recommended Reading" stickers on *their* copies, it
being so close to Christmas?

Could somebody hold the ladder steady for me while I climb up here and hang
some more mistletoe?

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-fraud, la-la-la fraud."

--<The ARSCC Librarian>

*The ARSCC, like its bouncy, festively festooned librarian, does not exist.