Millenium, November 1997
Scientology Business Cult gets further exposed on Fox Network's
In last nights episode of "Mellinnium," two murderous Scientologists
kill people who expose the absurdity of their cult -- or that's what the
episode was about, any way; Chris Carter and, no doubt, the Fox
Network took pains to keep the name "Scientology," L. Ron. Hubbard,
and "Dianetics" out of the program.
Charles Nelson Riley plays the part of "Jose Chung" who knew the
creator of a mind-bending, money-greedy, unthinking, idiotic, criminal
cult back when the creator/leader of the cult was a fiction writer -- and
a very poor one.
Jose Chung is performing research for another book about the lunatic
cults which spring up around years which end with zeros (among Western
Society, any way) and is stalked by two Scientologists bent upon killing
him for the articles he had published in a skin magazine.
Frank Black, the shows hero, gets involved since the formation of and
zealous extremes of religious and money cults fall into the venue of the
work the Millinnium group involves themselves with.
The episode had analogs for a number of Scientology absurdities,
carefully renamed and altered so that the cult here in the read world could
do nothing but bite their lips and get further upset at what everyone knows
was a truthful depiction of Scientology.
They had "The Book" -- only instead of a volcano, it had the garish
quality of the real Dianetics with lightening bolts. Instead of an
it had a galvametric measurement device which was used as a "lie
detector" coupled to a tape recorder which would continue to restate
questions over and over until it decided an accurate answer was
The number of thinly-veiled analogs were too numerous to cover here
as that would take describing the entire episode. Of special humerous
note was when Frank Black's supervisor calls Frank aside and asks
him why the Millinnium Group got involved. Frank mentions the name
of the cult (the one the episode used, not the word "Scientology") and
Frank's supervisor takes a step away and say, "Oh no, we can't do
Frank asks, "Why? The Millinnium Group never walks away from
everything, even Evil Incarnate." Frank's supervisor says, "Yeah but
Evil Incarnate can't sue."
When Frank and another police inspector pay a visit to the cult's
head shill / liar, the shill robotically repeats his threat that any
would be met with the full extent of the law, making special pains to
underscore being "within the boundaries of the law," of course.
The shill points out that many Hollywood actors have joined the cult
and some offer is done by the episode to use the same style and
format that the real Scientology cult uses when putting up their toy
celebs up on their strings to dance for the media.
Charles Nelson Riley played his part wonderfully. Though he has been
in numerous children's television shows and has usually played the
part of the clown, in real life he's actually very well read and
In this episode he carried the part of the academic writer bent upon
exposing the absurdities and stupidity of the Scientology cult followers.
The conclusion of the episode? Charles gets the drop on the first
Scientologist who comes to kill him (who later dies trying to leap from
the building's roof -- with the power of positive thinking -- to escape.)
But the second Scientologist -- armed with a pick-axe -- does him in.)
It would have been great had Fox and Chris Carter had the guts to
make a mention to drowning dogs but I suppose that wouldn't have
made it past the network's lawyers. Still, as a comedy / parody of a
lunatic cult populated by the ignorant, the gullible, and the mentally
disturbed, it was wonderful entertainment.
--- "de omnibus dubitandum" All is to be doubted - Descartes ---
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