One open, more to come...... Operation Clambake and present:

Ron The Cosmologist


L. Ron Hubbard claimed we are kept here on Earth by aliens that live on Mars and Venus. When we die we supposedly automatically report to a Mars or Venus "between-lives area" where we are hypnotised and told to return to Earth. Then we are frozen into ice-cubes and transported to Earth where we are dumped into the sea. He claimed that Earth has been used as a dumping ground for souls from the nearby galaxy as well.


L. Ron Hubbard claimed that through this process called "auditing", people could regain supernatural abilities. He himself claimed to have such abilities. He once boasted that he had transported himself to the planet Venus -- where he was nearly run over by a freight locomotive. You don't believe anyone would say such a stupid thing? Well if you have a connection to the internet and your PC has a soundcard then you can download the free RealPlayer from and then hear him saying it using the following link:


L. Ron Hubbard described Scientology as the science of "knowing how to know". The idea is that "auditing" can raise your abilities to the point where you "know" something directly rather than having to discover it or learn it. He spoke authoritatively about life in the solar system. He claimed that Jupiter was inhabited by people who looked like Eskimos. You can hear him say it at:


L. Ron Hubbard, in his secret teachings, claimed that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic ruler named Xenu cured overpopulation in this part of the galaxy by calling trillions of people in for income tax inspections where they were instead paralysed by injections of alcohol and glycol. They were then supposedly frozen and stacked onto space planes that were the exact copies of DC-8s and then flown across space to Earth.


The above story doesn't end there. After the aliens were flown to Earth they were supposedly stacked around volcanoes and then nuked. Their souls were then caught in electronic beams and they were packed into boxes and taken to see 3D special motion pictures that lasted several days. He claimed that the first two days of these 3D motion pictures were of a helicopter crashing

After these souls of dead space aliens had seen these motion pictures they supposedly clustered together and now inhabit our bodies as "body thetans". People in Scientology pay about $50,000 to find this out and then they pay further tens of thousands of dollars to have these "body thetans" exorcised.

They hope that they will receive special powers like L. Ron Hubbard and will maybe fly to Venus like he did. Hubbard described how he would talk to these body thetans to make them go away. He would tell them about "Incident 1" which was a time 4 quadrillion years ago when these souls were startled by having a cherub rush towards them and blow a trumpet and a chariot charging at them before blackness was dumped on them. Once they are told this he described how these body thetans would wake up and zoom away.

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